ARTICLE 5; RELIGION 101.

THE HYPOCRITE LOVES TO PRAY.

I am atheist. Do I worship Satan, hell no!!Do I believe in the afterlife? Even laughable that one. Do I fear dying atheist? Death is a necessary evil. It will come when it will come and only cowards die many times before their death. Atheism does not equate to Satanism or any other cults out there. Don’t get it wrong. We just don’t have any imaginary friends and/or enemies out there.

I like the idea of God. An all-powerful being who demands to be worshipped with the promise of a heaven for the faithful and a hell for the sinners. Sounds more like a dictatorship to me but what do I know? My perception of god is solely defined by (IF). If he exists, well and good, if he doesn’t, well and good. I actually have a few bible verses I like.  They are relatable because after all, it’s all a matter of perspective. God is man’s greatest invention. He is a glorified cosmic pimp. Religion and God in general are a matter of perspective and If he exists I guess then my fate is sealed. However, you see, God is so vast it cannot be restricted to a religion, philosophy or dogma.

Science and religion on the other hand are not enemies.one is quantifiable, the other isn’t. They are two different languages telling the same story as well as searching for the truth and as long as science cannot answer it, religion will always have the day.  The two will always co-exist.

I will make this brief but not without a closing remark, which turns out to be one of my best quotes;

                         Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but      unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loves ones.

      MA.vlcsnap-2018-01-08-13h41m36s331

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ARTICLE 4; UNDERSTANDING WOMEN’S LANGUAGE (PART 2). Disclaimer: Page best read in desktop mode till i can import word pages☺☺

SHE SAYS…. SHE MEANS….

You want – You want
We need- I want
It’s your decision- The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want- You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk- I need to complain.
Sure…go ahead- I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset- Of course I’m upset you moron
You’re…so manly- You need a shave and you smell.
You’re certainly attentive tonight- Is sex all you ever think about?
I’m not emotional! or overreacting!- I’m on my period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights.- I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient.- I want a new house.
I want new curtains- and carpeting,furniture and wallpaper.
Hang the picture there- No!I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise- I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?- I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me?- I did something today you’re really not going to like..
I’ll be ready in a minute.- Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat?- Tell me I’m beautiful
You have to learn to communicate.- Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? -[Too late, you are dead.]
Yes- NO
No- NO
Maybe- NO
I’m sorry.- You’ll be sorry
Do you like this recipe?- It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.
I’m not yelling!- Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
The same old thing.- Nothing.
Nothing.- Everything.
Everything.- My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really.- It’s just that you’re such an asshole.
I don’t want to talk about it.- Go away, I’m still building up evidence against you.

This is just a scratch on the surface and these terms are subject to change and interpretations.I can’t pretend to know everything but i can try.Sadly,this has to be the last piece about women’s language for now or until next time.

ARTICLE 3; THE SECRET TO WOMEN’S LANGUAGE. (PART ONE).

There is English and there is women’s language which surprisingly is English too but not for the average mind. Situationships have taught me how to differentiate the two and I’m about to save the many clueless guys out there. Here is what she means when she uses Morse code disguised as English.

  • FINE: This is the word women use at the end of any argument that they feel they are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
  • FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. Time is relative for them. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last so they feel that it’s an even trade.
  • NOTHING: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.
  • GO AHEAD (WITH RAISED EYEBROWS): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.
  • GO AHEAD (NORMAL EYEBROWS): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.
  • LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.
  • SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
  • OH: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.
  • THAT’S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
  • PLEASE DO: This is not a statement – it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.
  • THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.
  • THANKS A LOT: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing”.

I had to split this article into two because mere bullet points cannot and i repeat,cannot decipher a woman’s language yet these are only words.What happens to body language and all other subtle hints?We may never know,or maybe,just maybe the next article might try to give some answers.Meanwhile……,One story is good……

ARTICLE 2; OF LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS AND SITUATIONSHIPS.

This is a topic that is largely subjective. When it comes to love I always remind my peers that just because it worked for someone it does not mean it works for everyone. Love is beyond words, actions and desires, because it is or it isn’t. Welcome to the 21st century where love is defined by circumstance. We accept the love we think we deserve. First impressions still matter and like my favorite rapper said, when it comes to love and women, chemistry matters more than anatomy. I believe “There is no way you can make significant progress in your relationships with other people if your own life is a mess or if you’re basically untrustworthy. to improve any relationship, you must start with yourself; you must improve yourself “SC.

If it smells like a relationship, kinda looks like a relationship, feels like a relationship, but it’s not… that’s a situationship. Am I speaking out of experience? Well, I’ve Seen it all, done it all, but can’t remember most of it. Situationships have become easy because everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

Amazing how single people have the best relationship advice, right?

Whether in a relationship or a situationship there are a few rules that we guys wish ladies knew about us and I’m gonna dedicate this piece to that. Here we go;

  1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us.
  2. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  3. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.
  4. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as brexit, global warming and the girl next door.
  5. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
  6. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. Especially if we’re already late.
  7. You have enough clothes.
  8. You have too many shoes.
  9. Crying is blackmail.
  10. Ask for what you want. Let’s be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
  11. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
  12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  13. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.
  14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
  15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  16. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it is genetic.
  17. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done; not both.
  18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have > to say during TV commercials
  19. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
  20. We see in only 10 colors at most.
  21. We are not mind readers and we never will be.
  22. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you think this is exciting, wait till I decode the secrets to women’s language in my next article.

QUOTE OF THE DAY; Look at all people fairly, including yourself.

If you judge people through the eyes of others, you can never know them or yourself.

Why do we write?

 

My name is Morris (@iamthatmorris on twitter & instagram and Morris Mathenge on Quora).

At the age of 24,almost clocking 25 you would think i have my life figured out as expected by older folks but,what the hell.At my age most of these older folks had families and had life all figured out .They make it sound so easy yet it’s total BS.I am a life enthusiast currently undergoing a quarter life crisis like most of my mates and probably this is the main reason that drove me to publish this blog.

Growing up i had a thing for literature and history.i wasn’t the brightest kid in class, not the dumbest either but i invested most of my time and energy reading history books and solving puzzles.Like most of my peers,i attended primary school,then high school and eventually campus.I have a career..,who am i kidding,i have an 8-5 job.Do i love my job?hell no ,i don’t even like it but the alternative is worse.In my experience,it is not joblessness that kills someone’s spirit nor is it being broke,the two might be factors but what kills you inside is the feeling of lacking a purpose in life.Life comes at you fast when you feel unimportant and it sucks and in extreme cases ,gives you wild thoughts.

Speaking of purpose,2018 got me thinking.I am a big fan of social media,actively and passively,it’s always fun when strangers argue,share thoughts and ideas,trade insults,make up,break up and share their experiences.But what did the inventors have in mind when they developed these sites.was it to make money?Money is a powerful motivator,so is death and faith but that can’t be the only reason.There must have been a bigger purpose beyond monetizing.

But still, why do we write and share?Sympathy…,maybe,pass time…,maybe,validation…,maybe.Everyone has their own reasons.Even where language is a barrier,you can always differentiate pain from joy.language is the foundation of civilization.It’s the glue that holds the people together and it’s the first weapon drawn in a conflict.

My reason for writing,simply said is,’we tell each other stories to know that we are not alone and to make contact’. One problem though.People have always wanted to stay connected.The same people are texting more than they are talking and tweeting more than they are meeting.So,what are we missing,we don’t wanna be connected anymore,we just want to feel connected while still isolated.If this is true,this must be the reason we have social media accounts,whether active or passive,everyone wants to tell their story,they want to be heard and not judged.They wanna know they are not alone and this is the motivation behind my blog.

I wish to adventure by any means necessary because ‘if you live an ordinary life,all you will have are ordinary stories’.I have a story to tell and this is my canvas.I will occasionally throw in some quotes,life hacks because it isn’t always as bad as it seems.I love good music too and i won’t mind sharing my best lines.I am an impulse writer at times but i’m always careful to live one day at a time.

QUOTE OF THE DAY;How people treat you is their karma,how you react is yours.

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